I have chosen to post on a topic that is very dear to my heart. I can only share my experience with you and the prompting of the Holy Spirit in my own life, as proof, not to mention clarity of Scripture. I want to share, as briefly as possible, my story. I have been a woman in ministry my entire adult life. I have served in the postions of youth minister, music minister, children’s minister. I have directed choirs, taught home Bible Study cell groups, Sunday School, and women’s ministry. I have been ordained as an elder in a church and served in that office for two years, even preaching during the time we needed a pastor, I served on local, state, and regional denominational boards. I was approached about becoming an elder in the church. Before agreeing to serve as an elder, I went to every man in the small church I attended and asked if they would serve. They would not. Because of my upbringing, that women should not serve in positions, such as pastor, deacon, or elder, I counseled with pastors in our denomination, and was assured that this was a calling from God.
I have been a leader in my past two marriages, financially, spiritually, and in other ways. I have said all of this to say, God began working on my beliefs as I studied more and more of His Word. I began asking Him to show me His will, my thoughts and beliefs became grounded in God’s Word and I grew to a place I never dreamed (and still have a LONG way to go.) To shorten this 21 year journey, my second husband left because of the life I lived, dedicated to Christ. He couldn’t accept that I loved God more than I loved him. I prayed that God would send a man into my life who would be a Godly leader, who believed and lived what God’s Word says, and who would love God above all else. In healing from this separation, I stayed in God’s Word even more and I began cleaning out my “collections” of things I had (the only thing that controlled me, in my home, for so long was my “stuff”.) I realized I didn’t need those “things”. At this time, I was still teaching a home Bible Study cell group, which had men, including deacons, attending.
God sent a wonderful man into my life and within the first week of meeting him and sharing some of our thoughts and beliefs, he challenged me as to why I was teaching deacons. I didn’t have an answer, other than, they encouraged me to continue, but we talked and I began praying about it, and spoke with one of the deacons and he agreed to teach the study and understood my position.
God did such a work in my life. I now see, through much experience and scripture, that a woman has no place in a leadership position. I am now happily married to that wonderful Godly man, who leads our home. I cannot tell you the freedom I feel now that I am no longer “in the lead.” I know it sounds ironic, but there truly is freedom in submission. I retired from 20 years in the classroom, in May, and now homeschool. My family (I have four step-children) is the ministry God has for me at this moment. I also help with women’s ministry and volunteer in a small Christian Church School. I am happier in my life with Christ than I have ever been and I am growing more and more in Him every day.
Some of the Scripture that helped me in this process taught that women are to teach younger women and children:
Titus 2:3-5 (This verse also shows that a wife is to be subject to her own husband) : “Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips norenslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 4 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”
Proverbs 31:1 tells us that King Lemuel was taught by his mother: “The words of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him”
2 Timothy 1:5 shows that Timothy was taught by his mother and grandmother: “For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well”
The following verses showed me that women are used to teach, but in a limited capacity. If you will notice, none of these passages show a woman preaching God’s Word or in a leadership position over men.
Acts 18:26: “And he began to speak out boldly in the synagogue. But when Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they took him aside and explained to him the way of God more accurately.”
Acts 2:17: ‘”And it shall be in the last days,’ God says, ‘That I will pour forth of My Spirit on all mankind; And your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, And your young men shall see visions, And your old men shall dream dreams;”
John 4:28-30: “So the woman left her waterpot, and went into the city and said to the men, 29 “Come, see a man who told me all the things that I have done; this is not the Christ, is it?” 30 They went out of the city, and were coming to Him.”
John 4:39: “From that city many of the Samaritans believed in Him because of the word of the woman who testified, “He told me all the things that I have done.”
John 4:42: “and they were saying to the woman, “It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves and know that this One is indeed the Savior of the world.”
1 Timothy 3 tells the qualifications of an overseer of the Church. This description is specific to men. There were many other verses that helped me begin to see I, as a woman, was not created to lead a man in the Church, nor in my home.
To sum up it all up: I am a woman who has served in leadership roles in the Church, including ordination as an elder. After being a church leader, leading wife in two failed marriages, I am now a very conservative, submissive wife with an awesome Godly husband, and I have never been happier. The change in me could have never come from “ME”. The change had to come from the Holy Spirit. I began feeling conviction that I needed to further seek God’s will in my life. Being in “ministry” and living a life for Christ, I never dreamed God would have a 360 degree turn for me to make in several areas. I have been quite the independent woman, veteran school teacher and business owner. In living a submissive life, I do not feel, in any way, less of a woman. Actually, I feel more feminine now, than I ever have. My husband recognizes my intelligence and values my opinion and asks for it. The great thing is, I don’t have to be the one to make the decisions. If I see something that I feel is not “right”, I respectfully point it out to him, talk to him about it, and we pray about it. He takes his role as the leader of our home very seriously and sees his role as a servant-leader, putting my needs and our family’s needs before his own. We have been married for two years. It is hard for many to believe, but we have never had an argument. I truly believe it is because we are seeking God together, praying together, and studying the Word together, this is nothing we could accomplish on our own. I am not saying there never will be an argument, but I think when we have Christ as the center of our relationship we try to stay focused on Christ and each other rather than self.
The changes made in my life are nothing short of a miracle; to God, be the Glory!